"you’re an adult now"
"you need to choose a career"
"you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"
when an artist you hate comes out with a good song
shopping with the girls <3 xoxo
wtf is he supposed to be beating his meat
this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy
that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel
this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction
my shirts always fit: a man’s tale
what shirt: a nudist au
Cocoon and Evolved Metallic Mechanitis Butterfly Chrysalis from Costa Rica
These are gold.
how are these people not dead
Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die
at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it